Forcing the Read

During my years of teaching second grade, I had many parents who were extremely stressed by their child’s reading progress (or lack of.) While our school had a no homework policy, many of the teachers ignored this policy and sent home reading practice. If you haven’t read my post, The Making of Mediocrity, I’d encourage you to read that before continuing  as it gives background to the information I share in this post. If you have read it, you’ll have some idea of what this reading practice might look like at home:

For the precocious readers, there was certainly no need for assigned reading practice, since these children were already fluent readers. In fact, getting their noses out of books and outside moving their bodies was probably much more of a challenge for these families. Any assigned reading practice for these kids would just be a hoop to jump through. The rule-followers would do it to check the box, the pleasers would do it to keep their teacher’s affection, the kids whose identities relied on being one of the “smart ones” would do it for the evidence that they were superior to their classmates, and those that had other interests would recognize it as the busy work it was and insist on doing their own thing.

For the kids resisting reading and who spent the day struggling to control their bodies in the classroom, forcing reading practice at home, in my opinion, was just plain cruel. Unless you’re a super savvy and creative parent with the excess energy to somehow make decodables fun, this situation is likely to set you up for an ongoing battle with your child. We’ll talk more about this when we look at why homework has strong potential to damage familial relationships. And in the end, what exactly is your child learning by being forced to practice reading? They may make small gains in their reading fluency, but what they’re likely learning is that they hate reading and their desires don’t matter.

For the invested kids who have sophisticated thinking skills but their brains aren’t ready to learn reading, consider how painful this practice must be. Maybe they suffer through the practice then spend time ruminating on how inadequate they are. Or they start finding reasons to opt out of any activity that involves reading so they don’t have to feel stupid. They start to hide emotionally to avoid feeling vulnerable to judgment. I’m sure you can already start to imagine dangerous outcomes to this path.

In all of these situations, the requisite reading practice reinforces emerging and damaging identities. What seems like a fairly benign practice that is intended to strengthen reading skills takes on an insidious undercurrent of psychological shaping. Rarely do the educational “experts” consider the delicate egos that are taking such blows when they recommend that parents force their kids to read for a certain amount of time each evening after school.

The one situation where assigned reading practice may not be harmful is those invested emerging readers whose time has come to learn to read. Yet, even still, boring decodables are not going to foster a love of reading. These children should be choosing materials that inspire them to persevere through challenging passages and reading at home for pleasure, not for the gold star or to check the box.  By offering recognition and rewards, we risk obliterating the child’s internal locus of control.  So I take it back, I don’t believe there is any assigned reading practice that is not potentially harmful to the child.

For those parents who came to me stressed about their child’s reading progress, I encouraged them NOT to force it. Your stress causes your child to stress and be fearful, and there’s no need. Your child will learn to read when his brain is ready for it. If you need some reassurance that it’s okay to relax and let reading happen when it’s meant to for your unique child, please read this article.

Forget about his test scores and the school’s rating. Forget about the teacher’s evaluation. Foster your child’s love of literature and your relationship with your child by reading TO him stories that he finds riveting. Stories that are rich in content that you can use to teach about life and how to be human in a way that fosters stewardship of his health, his relationships, his communities, etc., but mostly help him discover things that light him up and encourage him to engage in life—even if it means not reading. He can suffer reading instruction in the classroom; keep your home a judgment-free place where he can leave all that behind and just be himself.   

Learning Your Limits: Homework Part Two

Part Two of Four

Homework. It’s evil, I say.

What’s wrong with homework? You say. Doesn’t it teach a strong work ethic? Doesn’t it communicate the importance of learning? Doesn’t it reinforce the learning that happened that day in class? Doesn’t it give the parents a window into the child’s day and therefore strengthen the family bonds?

The importance of learning.

Does homework communicate the importance of learning? This one is a bit complex. Let’s start with that word, “learning.” Just what is learning?

Humans are wired for learning. It’s our adaptable brain that has kept our species on this planet for so long. We’re born learners. It’s crucial for our survival. Am I being redundant? I just really want to drive this home. Humans learn. It’s what we do. Unfortunately, sometimes what we learn is that it’s unwise, even painful to follow our own learning instinct.

I’ll say it again. Children learn through play. Does homework feel like play? Maybe to some. For those kids who love homework, more power to you! There’s a good chance you possess the type of intelligence our culture values and your school experience will be less painful than most. But you may also want to pay attention to whether you really love the work itself or whether you’re into it to win your teacher’s favor or to demonstrate your academic superiority?

Before getting to the root of homework evil #2, I’ve got to veer down a rabbit hole a moment to explain some deterrents of play:

Unfortunately, we no longer trust our children to their own devices when it comes to play. We’ve become suspicious of children in general and think that if allowed to direct their own time, they’ll be naughty. That somehow it’s the nature of children to create trouble, so we must fill every moment with an adult directed activity. And it’s true that children will break things (rarely to purposely annoy the adults in their lives,) hurt themselves, make messes, etc. but is there learning to be gleaned from such instances?

Or our kids just seem incapable of directing their own play. Is it any wonder? Most have never really had the opportunity to just allow their imagination to guide their activities. With their days filled with school during which their level of compliance determines their worth, daydreaming and creativity are at best not valued, and even have the potential to be punished, is it any wonder that most shut down that imaginative capacity? Throw in the never-ending digital content at their fingertips and our children have little incentive to tap into their inner resources for entertainment. Maybe I’ll do another post on the power of boredom—a lost inspiration.

Another detractor from play is the very real lack of safety and playmates. No longer do our children have the freedom to free range (this is even illegal in many states) through the neighborhood in packs. We don’t have the tight knit communities we used to have where we knew and cared about our neighbors and everyone was looking out for the local kids. This “village” if you will, where kids could walk out their front door and quickly find other kids to play with and there was less fear of predators because there was safety in numbers and more familiar adults to approach in case of trouble.

So I don’t want to appear naïve of these obstacles to free play, but in the best case scenario, kids would have the freedom to direct their own learning after school. They’d build and tear down forts, use magnifying glasses to start fires, poke at insects, and play in the mud, discovering how the world works and developing problem-solving skills. They’d climb trees and sometimes fall out of them, learning what hurts and developing a better sense of their bodies. They’d play make believe and practice different social roles, developing their communication skills, empathy, and boundaries. They’d fall down often, both literally and figuratively, and learn how to pick themselves back up, developing risk tolerance and resilience. Is this learning? Is it important learning?

Homework displaces playtime. So does it communicate the importance of learning? Oh, it most certainly does.  Children learn that moving their bodies is less important than reading storyless decodables. They learn that spending time developing relationships is less important than practicing math facts. They learn that their self-chosen projects are less important than school projects. They learn that school’s values trump their own. They learn that hard work is more important than self-care. They learn that their own judgment is not to be trusted. They learn they’re incapable of making sound decisions.  They learn to suppress their intuition.

Oh, the importance of learning!

Schooling Work Ethic: Homework Part One

Part One of Four

Homework. It’s evil, I say.

What’s wrong with homework? You say. Doesn’t it teach a strong work ethic? Doesn’t it communicate the importance of learning? Doesn’t it reinforce the learning that happened that day in class? Doesn’t it give the parents a window into the child’s day and therefore strengthen the family bonds?

Let’s take it from the top:

Strong work ethic.

Our children basically have a full time job. Most children are going to school for at least 7 hours a day with shorter and shorter breaks throughout that day. These are children. What would you do if your boss insisted that you do at least 30 minutes (and as children rise in grades, this amount rises to potentially hours) each evening also? Would that encourage a healthy lifestyle? A healthy relationship with your work? Your boss?

Children need to play. All humans need to play but someone else can tackle why adults need it. I’m going to focus on our children. Their brains and bodies need play. It’s how they develop proprioception and risk tolerance, and discover who they are in the world. And we have robbed them of nearly all unstructured play. And we wonder why they seem to lack the imagination of generations past. If they’re going to be locked up in classrooms all day, shouldn’t they at least get their evenings and weekends to develop some self-awareness through play?!

And we’re teaching them that it’s not only normal to take your work home, it’s imperative. There’s no time in the day that’s your own. You must be directed every waking moment. And forget any notion of harmony in your life. Your life revolves around your work whether you like it or not. Again, by ensuring there’s no time of their own, we rob them of the precious few moments they might have to discover themselves through self-chosen and self-directed activities. Is this really the work ethic we want to teach?!

What does this “strong work ethic” teach our children about the world they live in? Is it a world where they’re encouraged to find joy? To experience gratitude for the beauty and bounty of this planet they inhabit? Does it teach them that their desires have any weight? Or does it teach them to suppress their own longings in favor of mandated and fleeting “learning” prescribed by the all-knowing “educators”? And that life is dismal and revolves around our work?

Many anxious and depressed adults are suffering from this “strong work ethic.” I’ve been searching recently for a counselor, and nearly every marketing description for the plethora of counselors out there (most with full caseloads and waitlists) is targeting people who need help to create “work/life balance”.

We’ve got skyrocketing suicide rates among teens who are feeling the pressure of this “strong work ethic.” These are children! When my daughter was in the 8th grade (she homeschools now,) I had a conversation with the school counselor. I asked her how many of the middle and high school students at this highly-rated charter school would identify as anxious and depressed. She told me if they were to do a poll of the students, her prediction would be 90%. Ninety percent of teenagers would say they have anxiety and/or depression?! Does this seem right? Does it seem okay? What the hell?!

If you Google “work ethic” you get:

work eth·ic

/wərk ˈeTHik/

noun: work ethic

the principle that hard work is intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward.

Is it intrinsically virtuous? Anxiety and depression don’t sound like rewards to me.

I can’t solely blame homework for our anxious and depressed population, but homework is just one aspect of school that is contributing to this dismal state we find ourselves in. Maybe it’s time to reconsider this “strong work ethic” we’re teaching our children.

More on the evils of homework tomorrow…